你对我说谎关于上帝：自传

Jamie Marich | 2024 | ISBN: 9798889840442 | English | 296 pages | ePUB | 3 MB

"An intimate and important memoir of deconstructing and reconstructing faith after abuse ... a spiritual memoir that does not shy away from abuse, queerness, or the multifaceted character of God." —Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

A courageous, vulnerable, and spellbinding memoir that explores with visceral impact what happens when harm starts at home—and is exalted as God’s will

For readers of Unfollow and Jesus Land: Jamie Marich explores spiritual abuse, intergenerational trauma, and weaponized faith

At nine years old, Jamie Marich asked God to end it all.

Doing it herself would be an irrevocable sin: an affront to the church and her father’s God. She prayed instead for the rapture, an accident, a passive death—anything to stop the turmoil of feeling wrong: wrong in her body; wrong in her desires; wrong in her faith in a merciful God that could love her wholly as she was.

You Lied to Me About God explores the schisms that erupt when faith is weaponized, when abuse collides with the push-and-pull of a mixed religious upbringing tyhat tells you: no matter which path you choose—no matter what you know in your heart to be true—you’re probably damned.

With resilience, strength, and gut-punching clarity, Marich takes readers through a tumultuous coming-of-age marked by addiction, escapism, spiritual manipulation, misogyny, and abuse. She shares with unflinching detail the complicity of her mother’s silence and the lengths her father went to assert dominance and control over her body, her desires, her identity—and even her eternal soul—”for her own good” and with a side of televangelistic hellfire.

Hitting a breaking point, Marich embarks on pilgrimage: from shrines in Croatia to ashrams in Florida, she reckons with what it means to come home to a faith that heals and accepts her wholly as she is: in her queerness, in her body, and in her deep relationship to an expansive and loving God.

一本关于在遭受虐待后解构与重建信仰的亲密且重要的回忆录……一部不回避性侵害、同性恋或全能神祇多面性的精神回忆录。——《Kirkus Reviews》（ starred review） 一本勇敢、脆弱而又令人着迷的回忆录，它探讨了当伤害发生在家庭时会发生什么——以及这被尊为上帝的旨意。 面向Unfollow和耶稣之地读者：Jamie Marich 探索灵性虐待、代际创伤及武器化的信仰。 九岁时，Jamie Marich 请求神结束这一切。 独自做这件事将是一生不可逆的大罪：是对教会以及她父亲所信之神的一种冒犯。她祈祷的不是末日审判，也不是意外发生，而是无意识状态下的死亡——任何一种方式都可以停止那种让她感到不正的地方感：在她的身体里感到不正；在她欲望中感到不正；在她对一位能够完全爱她那样的仁慈之神的信任上感到不正。 你曾欺骗我说关于神的事揭示了信仰被武器化的裂缝，以及性侵与混合宗教成长带来的拉扯是如何使你在两者之间做出选择——无论你的内心深处知道什么是真，你都可能被宣判为有罪。 Marich 以韧性、力量和直击心脏的清晰度带领读者穿越动荡的成长期，期间充满了依赖、逃避、精神操控、性别歧视以及性侵。她毫不留情地详细描绘了母亲沉默的参与程度以及父亲为了掌控她的身体、欲望及身份——甚至她的永生灵魂——所采取的一切手段“都是出于对她最好的考虑”，夹杂着电视布道者般的地狱火。 Marich 达到崩溃点，开始了朝圣之旅：从克罗地亚的神庙到佛罗里达的瑜伽中心，她直面那种回到一个既治愈又完全接纳自己的信仰——无论她是同性恋、她的身体形态如何，以及她与宽广而仁慈之神有着深厚联系的状态上意味着什么。

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